Definitely Not Finished

I started the race stoked but still jittery. The distance of 102k is not that daunting as I have finished it in 2011 and have conquered the 160k last January. It is the task at hand that is daunting – anything can happen.

Except for the discomfort of having to deal with my monthly visitor, everything was going well that evening. I thought running with the red flag was nothing new as it was the same scenario as BDM 2011. Either I change my bio-rhythm or BR changes his race schedule or I DEAL WITH IT!

We went off at 10pm. Prior to the start, I have this sour taste already and stomache cramps. I thought maybe I’m just nervous.

After the 7k uphill that I had to take easy due to stomache cramps (i thought then it was just menstrual cramps), I took a short break. I told my crew that I’m not feeling well and might need to adjust on the time.

I threw out what I ingested after a hundred meters on the 7thK.

I keep adjusting my nutrition and testing which one wouldn’t be a bother to my stomache. It’s too early in the race but I had to take coke at kilometer 16 as that’s the only drink my body can deal with.

I asked my crew to prepare a hot soup to stabilize my digestion. A few minutes after eating though I had another painful bout of puking. It went on and I already feel weak. I had to take walk breaks and run again which I’ve never really done in all my BDM. I could normally handle 50k still feeling fresh after. Now, midway to 50, I am already hating what I am doing. I wouldn’t even bother greeting or smiling to other runners and support.

As the long bouts of rolling terrain ended at kilometer 32, I thought it would be easier. I only have to keep moving. I was wrong. I was still nauseous. By kilometer 36, I felt like my energy was sucked. I am not sure if I felt sleepy or dizzy, I was running like a drunkard. I could only see rays of light ahead from the lamppost. My crew would stop every 500 meter and let me pass to ensure I am still good. At one point I had to hug a lamp post and a runner passed. He asked if I am okay. I said, yes, go ahead. I sure don’t look okay as he ran back and asked again if I needed help. I said I’ll be fine (I don’t wanna ruin anyone’s race.) Chips Dayrit passed and he asked if I want company. I drafted behind him half awake until he had to make a pitstop.

Something is not right. I am already dehydrated as I’ve thrown out everything I’ve ingested every stop. I am not even sweating and I am chilling. It’s been 5 hours of ignoring my unusual state. DNF is not an option yet. With the going time I can still even beat my 2011 pr if I take the same split as that one. I want my grandslam.

I took another coke at kilometer 45 which kept me up until I’ve reached the 50k mark.

After a quick leg massage, hot soup and hydration, I went back to the road. I told my crew I’m up and ready to race again. It lasted for a few hundred meters where I threw up again. Benj & his crew was there to attend to me. He gave me meds to address the acid reflux and told me to let my body absorb it. I had singkamas and apple to munch as take out. Thanks Benj and friends!

I was hoping the meds would work but I threw up again after 3k. I crossed the street and sat down at the car’s trunk. I cooled myself down and took my body temp. I was at 39+ degree already. Maybe, I’ll take a rest. The sun was already rising. Runners would pass and be surprised at my state. It took one and a half hour to call BR. He said rest
again and check, you have enough time to finish within cut-off even if you walk.

I called and woke up my doctor-friend. She said if I run at that state, it might harm my kidney and that my body is already using the fluid in it that’s why I’m not sweating. The fever could be a sign of infection from the virus in my stomache. She said if I run further, I might end up needing an IV. (The IV was the magic word that scared me. Actually, the needle from the IV!)

I decided to DNF at 6am. It is probably the hardest text to send my whole life. (Ahh no, second probably…)

I decided to DNF even if there’s still a chance I would finish.

I know that I am already putting my health at risk.

I know that I will run the next 48 kilometers suffering with a pain that is unknown and unexplained yet at that time. (It was food poisoning)

I know that if I run it won’t be myself running – a snob and unfriendly runner.

I know that if I’d continue – it will be for the wrong reason – for the pride of not saying I quit.

Most of my friends would ask me why I even toe the starting line – I toe the starting line because I enjoy doing it.

And that is exactly the same reason why I declared DNF at 54k, I wanna enjoy doing it and my state won’t permit me to.

I DNFed! I am Definitely Not Finished!

Thanks to my three boys! They said, next year na lang ulit. May balak ah…


As my number 23 says, ” I can accept failure but I cannot accept not trying.”

I tried and have accepted failure at 6am of March 3,2013.


To God be the glory!

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